Saturday, September 18, 2010

Devious Kitten and Ebil Pumpkin

A kitten padded through the pumpkin patch unseen except for the occasional glow of his neon green eyes. The vines thicken until a pumpkin almost the size of Kitten's head blocked the way. He figured the easiest way around would be over so he hunkered down, gave his booty a little wiggle and executed a most graceful little hop to clear it. At least he thought he was being graceful until his paw caught in a vine. As undignified as a face-plant in the vine tangled dirt can be he managed to bounce up like he meant to land like that. That's when he heard a rustling snicker behind him. The kitten immediately spun about and made himself look as big as possible. There was nothing there but the pumpkin. Deciding the snickering was really only the wind the kitten proceeds to kick dirt on the offending gourd.

"Hey! Do you mind? You got dirt in my eyehole!"

"A-a-a talking pumpkin?!", the kitten hissed.

"Well aren't you just Captain Obvious. I could say the same, you know. A-a-a talking kitten?!", the pumpkin teased while flicking dirt out of it's eyehole with a long twisted vine.

The kitten glared at the pumpkin and decided now was a good time to clean and straighten his back fur.

"Look, sorry for tripping you but I've no one to talk with in this dank patch. I mean look around, they all just sit there like a bunch of lumps studiously ignoring one another. I mean, what's the point of being able to talk if you just go about ignoring everyone and thing?"

"So...", the kitten mushroomed and then settled ramrod straight, "All the veggies here can talk?"

"No just the pumpkins. At least here in this patch. Something to do with a curse. Or something silly like that. And technically we're fruit not veggies. Anyway, it doesn't matter. They", the chatty gourd waves a vine around, "won't say a word. Not even a good day or howdedo. Eyes shut and mouths closed, we're just plain old pumpkins here. Lazy lumpkins more like."

"Well at least some know when they should be quiet." the kitten sniffed looking about.

"Oh come on. Don't be like that. I said I was sorry. I'm just bored is all. Maybe we could work something out? You get me out of here and I'll make it up to you."

"Pff, what can you do? Can you turn yourself into a pie? A nice warm pie with a saucer of milk would be great right about now."

"Alright, enough of that. " The pumpkin scratches where his chin would have been if he had one in thought. "First off I'm Ebil Pumpkin. The others named me that though I don't see why. Just because I get up to mischief now again." Ebil Pumpkin paused dreamily for a moment before shaking himself out of his reverie. "You can just call me Ee. You know like "eek" but with out the 'k'." Chuckling at his lame joke, "And you are...?"

"Devious. Devious Kitten. But you can call me Dee."

"Well, Dee... Dee & Ee, I like that. Well, Dee, you do look like the sneaky sort", which Dee immediately harumphed at but didn't put much heart behind, "so I suppose I could serve as a lookout, and I am good at tangling up feet as you might have noticed."

"You're not helping yourself, you know. You're lucky I'm bored too or I'd be so out of here. Cans to dump, dogs to spook and all that."

"Mmhmm. I can be good company.", hurrying to continue past the slit eyed glared Dee shot him, "I know, I know. I can be a tad chatty but I can be quiet when needed. Really I can."

It was Dee's turn to say, "Mmhmm."

"I can, uh, scowl with the best of them. See? Grr." Dee sighs heavily "Ok, fine. I'm lonely, alright. Happy now? Please just get me out of here. I'm losing my mind to sheer and utter boredom of it all. I need to get out and see the world before I wither away to nothing. I can tell you all sorts of stories and we could be friends. Everyone needs a friend now again right? Oh and you can hide things in me. Look at all the space." Ee opens his mouth wide for Dee to peer in and it does seem to go on forever.

After a good long thoughtful stare Dee sighs, "I'm so going to regret this.", and hefts the surprising light Ee onto his back. As Ee wraps his vines around to keep himself steady Dee wobbles a bit. "Not around the middle! Don't you know anything about cats? Sheesh."

"Oh right, sorry." says Ee as he resettles himself like a backpack. Dee shakes his head, as he takes off into the night, at the thought of a kitten toting around talking pumpkin but there are stranger things. Stranger things by far.


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Devious Kitten & Ebil Pumpkin Plush can be found in my Etsy shop!

xx ~Static


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